Storm in a condom

As you would have been informed by now, we, the people of Madhya Pradesh, are strongly against condoms, sex and anything to do with human reproduction whatsoever. We consider it to be against our culture and heritage.

Our minister for Public Works Mr Kailash Vijayvargiya has found out that controlling vibrations at undesired locations does fall under his jurisdiction and has suitably acted to uphold the Indian culture. We the people of Bhopal are overwhelmed by his heroic and timely control of such anti-Indian sentiments, presumably brought about by some foreign forces (ISI/MOSAD/CIA involvement being looked into) who have infiltrated the government agency HLL.

We do not believe these rumormongers who suggested that the honorable minister might be working as a publicity agent for the anti-Indian condom-producing agency HLL, and has brought knowledge to many unknowledgeable about the existence of such a condom. We also strongly condom condemn people who suggest that banning these condoms would mean nothing as these are available freely for home delivery at different websites.

For those who missed out on our heroic effort to uphold the Indian culture, this is the report from CNN-IBN: