Storm in a condom

As you would have been informed by now, we, the people of Madhya Pradesh, are strongly against condoms, sex and anything to do with human reproduction whatsoever. We consider it to be against our culture and heritage.

Our minister for Public Works Mr Kailash Vijayvargiya has found out that controlling vibrations at undesired locations does fall under his jurisdiction and has suitably acted to uphold the Indian culture. We the people of Bhopal are overwhelmed by his heroic and timely control of such anti-Indian sentiments, presumably brought about by some foreign forces (ISI/MOSAD/CIA involvement being looked into) who have infiltrated the government agency HLL.

We do not believe these rumormongers who suggested that the honorable minister might be working as a publicity agent for the anti-Indian condom-producing agency HLL, and has brought knowledge to many unknowledgeable about the existence of such a condom. We also strongly condom condemn people who suggest that banning these condoms would mean nothing as these are available freely for home delivery at different websites.

For those who missed out on our heroic effort to uphold the Indian culture, this is the report from CNN-IBN:

Naya Daur at Bhopal

Director B. R. Chopra’s son Ravi Chopra has converted Naya Daur to a colour film, the Bhopali remembers with nostalgia the era when about 10,000 people from Bhopal thronged the Budhni ghat (near Bhopal) to see Dilip Kumar and Vayajayantimala shooting. This film was essentially about the struggle of a tongawallah (horse cart driver) against the motorized vehicles being launched. The hero saves the day by making a new road, helped by Vayajayantimala to the tunes of “Saathi Haath Badana”, on which he races his tonga to reach the destination before the motorized vehicle. The songs from the films like “Ude Jab Jab Zulfen Teri”, “Yeh desh hai veer jabano ka” and “Maang Ke Saath Tumhara” has been a legend since release in 1957.

If only Ravi Chopra had looked around, he could have found a new story for his colored “Naya Daur” in Bhopal. The quintessentially Bhopal mini buses are being replaced by all new swanky Star Buses christened the “City Bus” run by a body called the “Bhopal City Link Ltd”. The City Buses are ultra-modern buses with modern low floors, ample leg space, wide glass windows, 44 seat 2x2 theater type seating and 40 standees, anti skid Vinyl Flooring, CFL lighting uses fully computerized Electronic Ticketing Machines for issuing daily passenger tickets. The buses are soon to be connected using a GPS based system that would display the next scheduled bus timings on boards mounted at the bus stops. Competing with these state of art buses, the local mini buses first resorted to violence attacking the new city buses. That did not bother the city bus operators much, and now one can see many mini buses sporting advertisements to compete with the new city buses. In a loosing battle for space the mini buses will soon be moved out of city to the city suburbs. Unlike the “Naya Daur” the city planners have planned a new road corridor for the city buses exclusively. Bhopalis however will miss the trademark "Lo bada lo" and "Chale Chalo" of the mini bus.

Sultan Jahan in Turkey

On her arrival to Turkey, Begum Sultan Jahan was ceremonially received by the Sultan’s minister, Raghib Bey, and driven to her hotel the Pera Palace at Istanbul. Modern Turkish women called on the Begum, shocking her slightly because of their liberal dress and western mores. She then had an audience with Sultan Mehmet Reshad at which the Turkish Emperor at the famous Dolma Bache Palace warmly received her. The Sultan then personally escorted the Begum to meet the Sultana, passing through labyrinthine corridors that were manned by eunuchs. There came a point where even the eunuchs were not allowed and were replaced by female guards. Eventually, they reached Sultana’s harem. The Sultana received the Begum with much affection.

Before Sultan Jahan left Turkey, she received the most unexpected and precious gift. Sultan Mehmet Reshad decided to decorate the Begum with Turkey’s highest award. The British government however did not give permission to Begum to receive this award. The Turkish emperor was incensed and decided to confer an even greater award to the Begum by giving her a gift of the Prophet’s hair. The holy relic became one of the proudest possessions and was kept in a special room by the Begum and by her successor, to be displayed once in a year, on the Prophet’s birthday.

After a week’s stay, Sultan Jahan left Turkey and stayed in Budapest for a few days before proceeding to Rome, Venice and Florence. While in Florence, Sultan Jahan received a telegram from Nasrullah informing her that the plague had struck Bhopal. Cutting short her visit, Sultan Jahan arrived back to Bombay on board SS Mantua on October 22^nd , exactly after six months of embarking on her voyage to Europe.

Sultan Jahan’s visit to Europe

By 1911, Edward VII had died and George V was to be crowned. Sultan Jahan was invited to attend the Coronation in London and decided to accept. Sultan Jahan left heir apparent Nasrullah in Bhopal to hold the fort while she took Obaidullah, his wife Shahryar Dulhan, Hamid and his child bride Maimoona sultan with her on her journey to Europe.

First came the stops at Aden, the Suez Canal, where the King and Queen of Belgium boarded the ship, the Mediterranean Islands, the coast of Italy and finally the port of Marseilles where the ship dropped anchor. The port of Marseilles was thronged with press reporters and a large crowd had gathered to catch a glimpse of the Begum. Indian princes carry with then a huge aura of mystique and glamour for Europeans, but woman ruler was a complete rarity that drew a large inquisitive crowd to the quayside. The French police cleared the docks and enabled Begum to enter a purdah carriage and drive to the railway station where she boarded a special train that had been commissioned for her by the French government.

In Paris the Begum stayed at the Hotel Majestic. The hotel management was specially deferential and allowed half of the hotel kitchen to be partitioned so that the Begum’s chef could prepare her food according to Islamic tenets. After a week in Paris, the Begum headed for England to attend the ceremonies related to the Coronation. After crossing the Channel, the Begum and her party installed themselves in a large rented house – Pattison Court – in Redhill, a town 18 miles south of London. 

As 22 June – the day of coronation – approached, Sultan Jahan installed herself in St Ermine’s Hotel near Buckingham Palace. She took her two sons and ministers as part of her Coronation party, but left her two daughters-in-laws behind in Redhill. At the Coronation itself, the Begum caused a stir and mild amusement by appearing in a burqa with her awards worn on the outside. Sultan Jahan seemed to strike a particularly warm chord with the King’s mother, the recently widowed Queen Alexandra, with whom she recounted having lost three loved ones a husband a two grown up daughters.

Once coronation ceremonies were over, Sultan Jahan departed on her return journey.

After staying for a week in Geneva, she proceeded eastwards, traveling by the Orient Express to Istanbul via Vienna. Thirteen years later, Sultan Jahan was to draw on this vast reservoir of goodwill that she built up with the British royal family.

Sultan Jahan Begum 1901 – 26

On 4 July 1901, Sultan Jahan assumed the title of ruler of Bhopal at the mature age of 43 after serving 33 arduous, harrowing years under Shahjehan as heir apparent. All three preceding Begums had mounted the masnad at a young age – Qudsia was 19 when she became regent of Bhopal, Sikandar was regent of Bhopal at 26, while Shahjehan was titular ruler of Bhopal at the age of seven and full fledged Begum of Bhopal at 30. As she was proclaimed ruler of Bhopal, Sultan Jahan looked older then her 43 years. Immediately after Shahjehan’s death, the British moved quickly to announce her succession as ruler of Bhopal. The Investiture Durbar was held at Saddar manzil of Bhopal, at which Mr Wyndham represented Lord Curzon, the Viceroy and Governor-General of India, the first assistant to the resident.

As Sultan Jahan took over the states administration, she found that the cupboard was bare. Shajehan and Siddiq’s henchmen had dissipated the finances to the extent that the state was heavily in debt and only 40,000 rupees were left in the treasury. A fighter by nature, Sultan Jahan resolved to put matters right, rolled up her sleeves and began the uphill task of rehabilitation and revival. For over a year Sultan Jahan built up her own team of upright and conscientious officials who helped her put the ship of state back on an even keel.

Sultan Jahan’s first task was to gain confidence of her rural subjects and helping Bhopal recover from Shahjehan’s lax and divisive rule. Sultan Jahan’s visit to the outlying villages was not simply representational tours, but serious attempts at seeking solutions to agrarian problems. The atmosphere was all work and austerity, with long hours spent listening to the plaints of village folks. There was no shikar, polo playing or midnight revelry as in Shahjehan’s days, but an ambiance of rigorous hard work for herself and her staff. She inducted her grown-up sons, Nasrullah and Obaidullah, into the process of governance and administration and even “little Hamid”, her eight-year-old third son, accompanied his mother to be given a taste of royal responsibility.

Related reading:

Jalalabad connection

Bhopal and Khilafat movement

Sultan Jahan visits Turkey

Sultan Jahan visits Europe

Nasrullah and Obaidullah Khan

Bhopal succession case

Sultan Jahans Abdication

Taj Mahal Of Bhopal

Believe it or not, apart from a Shahjehan, Bhopal also has a Taj mahal. Taj Mahal palace stretches across the entire northern side of Motia talab with its central courtyards including the grounds of Bab-e-ali. The grounds could also be approached from the west through a highly ornamental three-bayed entrance that is higher in the center with cusped arched opening topped with a pediment. The entrance gate is a strange square structure of “Palladian style” mixed with Islamic elements. Semi-circular arches, circular pillars, pediments and plain façade is punctured centrally with cusped arch opening that appears strangely foreign in the flat elevation. The entire treatment finds a parallel in the basement of the Diwan-e-Aam of Taj Mahal Place. The flat flagstone roof of the gate is supported on iron girders that rest on Lakhuri bricks. The entrance leads to a ground that was used for festivals, ladies club and other occasions. Today it is a cricket stadium with huge interventions in concrete.

The most spectacular constructions of all times is the cascading waters of the three tanks, Motia Talab, Noor Mahal Talab and Hussain Baksh Ki Talaiya, built at descending heights of 15 m each. Kaiser embankment of Motia talab, was also fitted with rails that connected the Taj Mahal to Noor Mahal and on which plied the saloon of the Begum. True to their legendary nature, Bhopalis named the saloon “thela” and the road is still called “thele wali sadak” by the locals! The water tanks were part of the larger water system of Bhopal where the waters harvested went through hammams and chaddars of the palaces around it and watered the charbaghs within. The waters from the natural springs of Jharnewala bagh were transported by canals to Motia talab and after cascading into the Patra nala some distance away joining the larger water system of Betwa and Yamuna near Lalitpur.

Covering the entire north side of Motia Talab, the Taj Mahal Palace was the political center during Nawab Shajehan Begum who stayed here amidst beautiful water bodies and green char-baghs. Inward looking, the interiors consist of residential quarters around large courtyards approachable through five highly embellished double storied gateways that punctuate the external high blank wall. One of them is rectangular, the rest are octagonal. The main entrance way is however towards the east. This seven-storied structure is the grandest entrance to any structure of Bhopal. The forty-five feet clear span done acted as a porch for the alighting of Shahjehan Begum in the purdah and could accommodate the turning of a chariot drawn by seven horses within. The rectangular plan of the palace revolved around a large central rectangular courtyard with its water bodies and charbaghs. The single storied red-sandstone square, colonnade, central piece is sculpted for falling and gushing waters that is enhanced by blue ceramic tiles probably imported from England. South side of the central courtyard opens towards the Motia talab from where the cool winds were directed inside through cooling ducts of the basement of Diwan-e-Aam. The Deewan-e-Aam itself was embellished with mirror works and exquisite stucco work and roofed with stone slabs on timber rafters all polished in black.

Lying in ruins, Taj Mahal palace is now a protected monument and conservation work by the Madhya Pradesh government is under way.

Shahjehanabad – The Benazir Palace

The most famous and prominent construction undertaken by Shahjehan Begum was the Taj-Ul-Masjid. When she came to power Bhopal stretched within the fortified limits of Fatehgarh fort towards the west, Sahar-E-Khas towards the east and Bhoja’s fort towards the south. Jehagirabad extension by her father was located across the watery span of Chhota Talab joined to the city by a dyke called Pul Pukhta. 

To this she added Shahjehanabad which, unlike most other towns elsewhere in the country during the nineteenth century, was planned and developed by her as a large fortified addition to the existing town. Sultanjehan Begum writes: “Her Highness’s love for erecting large buildings and palaces was in no way less than that of her great namesake, the Emperor Shajehan of Delhi.” She had three palaces constructed in the mughal style for her personal use. 

The names of these palaces were Ali Manzil, Benazir palace and Taj Mahal Palace.

Benazir was the equivalent of the pleasure pavilion in the garden and was essentially built as her summer palace and a place to accommodate state dignitaries. Lord and Lady Minto stayed here during their visit in 1909. Benazir overlooked the expanding landscape to its east and from it the arrangement of the three water bodies could be seen – the Motia Talab which was the uppermost, the intermediate Noor Mahal Talab and the lowermost the Munshi Hussain Talab.

 The H shaped building enclosed green stepped terraces and gurgling fountains; and a series of steps and plinths descended down to the water. The grounds attached to the palaces were used for ceremonial processions, parades and were also congregation grounds for the subjects. Steps on two sides of the ground provided sitting space for the people during sports. The luxurious ambience and the lacy treatment of the palace is almost akin to the zardozi veil of the burkha that Shajehan Begum so vehemently advocated.